Sunday, April 14, 2013

Broken Open!

Happy Sunday Friends,

Have you ever heard the sayings,  "Wounded people wound people", "Joyful people are joyful to people", "Angry people are angry to people" and "Happy people are happy to people." Here's the thing friends, often times, we treats others in the way we have been treated whether it is conscious and obvious or totally unconscious, which we typically are unaware of. People can only give what they have within themselves and the fact remains that you cannot give away what you don't have. Every single one of us has a story, a history, life events that have molded us into who we are. I think its safe to say that very few people have had ideal childhoods and have grown to become totally emotionally intact and happy human beings so take this moment to acknowledge that although we all have very different stories, we indeed have a story. Right this moment, repeat after me, " I am NOT my story, I am NOT defined by my past, I am free and give myself permission to be healed and liberated of my story. I choose today, to live in a space of gratitude and acknowledge that peace, happiness and success are my birth right. I am no longer bound, I AM FREE."

Last night, I watched Own  and it was a show with rapper DMX and Iyanla. He claimed that he wanted to be on the show because he had an addiction to woman....she quickly realized that he was high during the interview and had had a drug and alcohol problem since age 19 and had been arrested 30 times so far.  He explained that when he was 7, his mother sent him to some sort of disciplinary facility because she didn't know how to deal with him and how he had repeatedly been in an out of these places. He never felt like his mother loved him and therefore he turned to drugs to numb his pain. He also mentioned that although his mother didn't nurture him, that his grandmother loved him very much and how he always found comfort in her referring to him as "baby" because that made him feel wanted and valuable. He then said, everyone want their mother to love them and everyone wants to be someones baby. When his grandmother passed away, his addictions got worse and relationship with his own children and wife became strained and quite estranged. His eldest son, whom he hadn't spoken to in almost 2 years, wanted to rekindle their relationship so he agreed to meet in the presence of Iyanla. His son expressed to him some of the pain he had felt over the years and asked for them to have a relationship again....however, his rule was that his dad, DMX, would have to be totally clean. He explained how they could never have a real relationship unless he was no longer "toxic" to which DMX, stood up and said, "love should be unconditional, you are putting conditions on us, I cannot make that promise." So his son refused to stand up and hug him and stood his ground. In this process, the son had realized that he took reacted in a strong and aggressive way towards his siblings quite often and realized how these wound he had from his father, had translated into his own life. Luckily, the son was able to come to that realization and was able to move on and apologize to his siblings and has learned to control the impulse to react. As for DMX, he was arrested again shortly after the show for driving without a license and their relationship is still unhealed.

You see  friends, the ego tries to keep us down and remind us of our wounds. It prevents us from trusting others, from loving and often from success because it is a debilitating ego. Its painfully sad especially when we are unaware of our patterns of behavior. We so often blame others for treating us badly, using us and abandoning us when in fact, we have created such an environment, and response mechanism that even if the most loving and kind person came into our life, we self sabotage those relationships because that voice is constantly whispering, you are not worthy of this and they are not as they seem. Which is all a great lie that the ego has manipulated us to believe. Oftentimes, the people who do get to be part of their lives, become enablers themselves by tip toeing around the "sensitive issues" and never really allowing these people to grow beyond their wounds. As Geshe La would say, "Though Love is often the best kind of love". It doesn't mean that you are cruel and unusual or that you are ill simply means that you will not tolerate or allow a wounded person to wound you because they feel they have the right to. In all honesty friends, we can all make ourselves victims of our past, but as we become adults, we need to exercise our rights to free will, free thinking and lastly, freeing ourselves. Don"t stay stuck in the past, soar beyond those clouds that have kept you in the dark for so long.

Friends, only you have the power to move past yesterdays afflictions. The art of forgiveness and letting go not only liberates those who have wounded, but more importantly, liberates you and those to come in your life. Do not project your pasts onto others. You are lovable, magnificent and worthy and deserving of love and respect.

Namaste friends.

Peace, love and light.

Sasha xoxoxo

Monday, April 8, 2013

I won't give up!

In Marianne Williamson's book " A Return to Love" she says that relationships are assignments, they are eternal, that no meetings are accidental and that we are brought together with people who have maximal opportunity for mutual growth. Although intellectually, all of these concepts make perfect sense, isn't it true that when relationships come to a cross road, suddenly, emotions take over. Sometimes pleasure, sometimes sadness and sometimes extreme pain.

To be honest, I used to suppress my emotions and try to put on a brave front and just "deal" with things. In the last year, I have finally allowed myself to feel what I feel, laugh out loud, cry out loud or scream out loud if need be. As we all know, people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Most of us have set patterns of behavior where we are either open to new people, sceptical of new people or down right unwilling to get to know anyone outside of our comfort zone. I say, take a chance, live outside the box, actually, live as though there is no box...step outside your comfort zone and take that leap of faith. Unless you put yourself out there and try to form new friendships, make new connections, you will never know who is out there...perhaps a new best friend, a romantic soul mate, a soul brother or sister or a friendly stranger passing through. The important thing to remember is that every single person that enters your life, serves as a teacher. To either tap into your strengths, your weaknesses or uncharted ground. Let it all in friends and allow growth to take place. Sometimes we know instantly that people are passing through and other times, usually, once or twice ina lifetime, very special people come into our lives...the type you would do anything to keep in your life because they have made your life better and brigther. Those are the keepers .

While watching Soulful Sunday on Own with Oprah and Gary Zukov, he expressed how soul mates are people who can at once make us feel complete bliss while having the potential of causing us extreme emotions of frustrations and irritability. He then introduced his wife, someone he met while he was a celibate monk. He said there was nothing but pure friendship between then. He also mentioned that he had never felt such comfort and ease in expressing his true emotions as he did with her. He felt so comfortable with her that he allowed himself to communicate in a way he never imagined possible. He also knew that he was afraid to love her and didn't really want to. The point of the story is that according to Gary, when there is a soul connection, you truly want nothing but the best for the other person and feel an insatiable need to tell them their weakness only to strengthen them. So he an his now wife ended up falling deeply in love, while maintaining their individuality's which I believe is the key to true soulfullness.

Well friends, things don't always work out the way we desire them too and that's OK. The important thing is to always remember that as much as we deserve and need unconditional love, so do they. We are all precious individuals that deserve to feel a friendship or romantic relationship at the same level as we are able and wiling to give. Please don't be afraid to take a chance...without risk, you will never know who is out there waiting for you just as you are waiting for them.

I absolutely love this song and feel it is very appropriate here, enjoy!

Jason Mraz " I won't give up.

Peace, love and light to all of you xoxoxoxoxox


Wednesday, April 3, 2013

We are meant to value people and use things, not value things and use people!

The inspiration for this blog is a series of events that have unfolded over the past several weeks in my life. When things happen and emotions find their way to the surface, I automatically ask myself, why is this happening and why am I feeling this way? We more often than not, tend to point the finger to the other party assuming that they have caused us to feel this way. However as my wonderful teacher Geshe La explains our culture is very self-centered and we believe everything revolves around us....and then he so eloquently says and I quote: " It’s not about me me me and I I I, it’s about how we can take the attention off of ourselves and focus on how we can help and benefit others." To which he usually adds that the one time we should point the finger at ourselves is when we feel such emotions as sadness, anger, irritability, fear, shame, anxiety, worthlessness etc and acknowledge that not a single human being can cause us to feel this way, that we are responsible for how we feel and that it is our job to analyze our own minds and figure out where these emotions are coming from. Generally speaking, they arise from feelings of attachment and expectation towards others which causes us to suffer on the inside. With that said, I would like to speak about our relationships with others and how we can ensure that these meaningful relationships thrive and survive in this day and age. How we are meant to value one another instead of material things and not the other way around.

As any self-respecting, independent and intelligent young woman would do, I consulted with someone older, wiser and an expert extraordinaire in her own right on how to make today’s relationships not only work but bring meaning to our mom, Divna. Before I share her wise words, here's a tiny bit of history on her. Mom has always been a spiritual seeker and lover of life. From the time I was very young, she shared all her readings with me and taught me how to meditate and keep a still mind. My home growing up was flooded with every self help book imaginable and VHS videos to match (remember those). She attended seminars, which she usually brought me to, and was always determined to discover the inns and out of living and maintaining an authentic, compassionate and happy life. With that said, after a 1 hour conversation with her tonight, she very simply said; "my sweet daughter, the "secret'' to healthy, happy and fulfilling relationships of all types, from mother to child, friend to friend or of the romantic types is....drums please, they need watering." Ooooooook mom I said, I was expecting something a little more in depth but ok, "what do you mean?" I said. Let me say this first, my home always had plants in it. My mom always loved plants and flowers and she took immaculate care of them, watering them, giving them nutrients, wiping the leaves ever so gently and yes, she would always speak to them as though they were humans and would tell them she loved them....I am not even joking. I always thought she just had a green thumb and frankly I believed she was a little kooky. Little did I know, Divna was on to something. So back to the watering of our relationships. So she continued, "Sasha, relationships are like plants, if you don't water them, they will first start to droop, then the leaves will dry up and finally, they will die and fall off."  Equally, relationships need attention, they need watering or nurturing  in the form of love, affection, recognition, mutuality, compliments,  care, concern  and most of all,  reciprocity. And if we don't nurture our relationships, they too will die. She explained how there is a dance we dance with every person in our life and how we need to learn their favorite moves ( methods of communicating) in order to have good relationships with them. No relationship is the same or requires the same moves so we need to groove to the beats of every individuals song. She then expressed her dislike for virtual communication and how it has managed to strip relationships of their authenticity and purpose. Which I have to say, I partly agree with. On one hand, we are hiding behind words and avoiding real communication but on the other hand, we often feel more comfortable expressing ourselves this way then face to face...but nothing replaces a good phone conversation or face to face laughter.

My mother then continued to tell me how 4 weeks ago I hurt her feelings when she called me and asked why I hadn't returned her calls and I replied: because I was trying to give my children my undivided attention....she took great offense to that insinuating that she did not matter or was not worthy enough for me to take her call. So she cried for 1 entire week over this instead of calling me back and telling me how she felt. I replied by saying, "mom, you know me better than anyone else, do you really believe that you don't matter to me? Would I intentionally hurt anyone’s feelings let alone yours,  and perhaps you were feeling lonely and needed validation and approval and that was the reason you interpreted what I said the way you did?" What had been a debate ended with her admitting that all she wanted was to hear that I loved her. Do you see how easily things gets distorted and blown out of proportion? I then acknowledged her feelings were hurt by apologizing for the way I worded my comment.

 So friends, as an amazing researcher has found, Dr. Brenee Brown, vulnerability in relationships is the key to success. Saying what we mean, meaning what we say and asking for what we need is necessary. She explained how after a decade of research, she had uncovered that every single living and breathing human being is most afraid of being vulnerable because they are afraid that it will come across as weakness. When in fact, all any of us want is to be loved, understood and accepted just the way we are. So she put the theory to the test in her own life with her husband and children. She had a heated argument with her husband one day....and as often before, she retreated to her bedroom and was angry and frustrated. Then, she walked back downstairs and decided to be vulnerable...she told her husband that she felt very hurt when he said what he said and he expressed that he felt judged and criticized for expressing how he felt. Wow! Almost instantly, they both realized that there was total miscommunication, she understood something very different from what he said and he interpreted her reaction in a totally different way then she meant. The argument quickly turned into laughter as they both realized the wires got crossed somewhere between wanting to make their points known and their egos desire to be right. Tada! Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable allows us to avoid a lifetime of miscommunication.

Have you ever had a conversation with someone, where you felt like they were not acknowledging your feelings and it left you feeling a little bit sad and invalidated? I know I have on multiple occasions including this week. But here's the question, how can any of us know what the other person is thinking unless they tell us right? So this is where vulnerability comes into play. The truth is, EVERYONE wants and needs to feel validated by their loved ones. And when that dance or balance isn’t there, the relationship begins to suffer. What typically follows is desperate behavior because you are seeking this validation so badly. Instead of going down that road, how about vocalizing your emotions. For instance, you may say something like, I know you've been busy lately, but I miss you and feel a little distance between us and what would make me really happy is if we can set aside some time to spend some quality time together and reconnect. The other person might answer saying something like, you are right, I have been really busy and distracted lately and it’s not that I don't care about you, because I do and I am sorry you felt this way. Yes, let’s find time that works for both of us and reconnect that would make me happy too. Voila! Communication, validation and vulnerability all bundled up in one. No fingers pointed, no bitterness, no anger but pure truth.   I experienced something similar this week with a close girlfriend of mine. I felt there was distance between us, for a while now, and I just simply adore her and felt a little chagrined. So I sent her a little text saying: “I feel like there is distance between us. I feel torn between accepting the natural flow and progression of our friendship and wanting things to stay the way they always have been. I just want you to know that I love you so much and miss you." I received a phone call shortly thereafter and she expressed how she felt hurt by something that had occurred and that she took a step back because she didn’t want to get hurt. We quickly both realized that we both felt hurt for absolutely no reason and all we needed to do was talk it out and communicate better because we both just needed validation. She then said how glad she was I brought it up because she didn’t want our friendship to change either.

Well friends, relationships are work. If you want good ones, they take effort. But remember; try to listen with the intention of just listening and not necessarily responding. We are so busy trying to figure out what we are trying to reply with that we often miss the purpose of the conversation. Let’s call it active listening or compassionate listening. If someone expresses they are struggling with something, acknowledge their feelings and try to offer sound advice. Balance is key in every relationship; it should be a natural give and take. Now go and enjoy all the wonderful people in your lives.

Peace and love to you all xoxoxo Sasha.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Why wait until it's too late!

Hi friends,

Today's inspiration comes after a 5 hour workshop with Venerable Amy Miller, an American born Buddhist nun. She was a political organizer in Washington, D.C. until she was ordained in 2000. She currently travels the world and teaches the Darma while running the Milarepa Retreat Center in Northern Vermont. Today's teaching was actually about a topic quite taboo and that most of us westerners are greatly uncomfortable speaking about, death! She lead the topic by asking us to meditate for a few minutes on the following question: If you only had 3 months to live, what would you do between now and then? After the meditation, she asked us to share our thoughts. One woman said, she would eat everything she ever desired, another said she would go to Bali, another said fulfill his bucket list which included skydiving. When she got to me, I said, I would want for everyone in my life to know and understand how valuable they are to me and how much I loved them. She glanced at me with her piercing blue eyes and shaved head and nodded with approval. Then she asked, why are we not doing all these things now? Why do we always seem to wait until its too late to do and say all these things we know would bring us happiness until either we come to the end of our lives or until the people we love have departed?

She then explained that what  we fear most, death, just so happens to be one of the certainties of life...As we all were born into this world, so shall we all depart, so why should we be fearful. She continued to say that this thing we fear so much can and should actually make us live our lives that much more purposefull and fulfilling. As a Buddhist, she frequently meditates on death as they believe that at birth and during their existence, it is all a preparation for death. I know what you're thinking, how morbid, right? Actually she said that it was the opposite, that this allows her to wake up everyday.  Her practice is as soon as she comes into consciousness in the morning, she gives thanks for awakening in her human body and sets the intention to live the day with mindfulness and purpose benefiting all sentient(living) beings while realizing that it may be her last awakening, last breakfast, last month of March or trip to the grocery store. She stressed the point that 2 things are certain, one, we will die and 2, we have no clue when. This way, every waking hour can be an expression of deep gratitude for this precious life we have. Friends, if you think about it, is that not precisely how we should live every single day? Filled with hope and faith and compassion looking, seeking and expecting the very best life has to offer? Don't we often tend to anger easily over seemingly insignificant things such as traffic or a long line at the grocery store...instead of taking advantage of the few minutes of peace and quiet we have in this busy world we live in? Don't we neglect and forget too often to stay in touch with people we care about blaming our busy lives for it?  When at the end of the day, our interpersonal relationships are our most meaningful thing. We even  fail to see the beauty of the pink Hibiscus bush that greets us everyday with its natural beauty because we are in a hurry to get to our next appointment? Rather than taking a second to acknowledge how outstanding our planet earth is to provide us with such beauty.

The truth is, that in order to fully appreciate all of the above mentioned little gifts of life, we first need to deal and address uncomfortable topics in order to move past them and gain freedom from them in order to have the liberty to appreciate all of our gifts? There is no way around our fears, the only way is through them. Just like any other painful issues in our lives, brutal honesty with ourselves and perhaps those who have hurt us, the acknowledgement, the regret, the pain and at last, the letting go of that fear is what allows us to soar like the eagle and rise above those dark clouds. As I have learned today, the mere fact that the time of our death is uncertain, should encourage us to mend and forgive any unresolved issues with ourselves or others. Why walk around bitter, angry and resentful when our time is limited here. I wish for you to be encourage to realize that the past is like our rear view mirror, small because it is not as significant as our present and future which is why the front window of our car is look ahead only. Similarly, forgiveness is something we do in the present and no the past. Our job is not so much to forgive others as it is to forgive for the sake of letting go and allowing ourselves to move forward. I had a wonderful conversation at our potluck lunch today with a psychotherapist and we both agreed that regardless of past experiences and patterns of behavior we have learned as a result of our experiences, we are not bound by these experiences, we seem to become repetitive creatures of habit. We are not adult-children, we are simply adults that have the right to move past any hurt or pain caused int he past realizing that today is all that matters. And although it is absolutely harder for some people to let go and move on than others, the fact remains that the only person that can liberate you is making the decision that you so deserve to experience unconditional love and peace of mind. To allow yourself a certain degree of vulnerability and fearlessness in the areas you were previously afraid to encounter. The point is to be the author of your own present and future. The past is the past, if it calls, don't answer because it has nothing new to say. Your present and future however,  you are totally in control of and i implore you to make yourself the hero of your life. Write the happiest and perfect ending you can possibly imagine. Make the decision today to write a new story for your life and very consciously, decide that you are no longer a victim of you past but rather the victor of your future.

The last thing any of us want is to live with guilt and regret because we were too afraid to take that leap of faith and allow ourselves to fully reap and benefit of all the blessings this life is excited to give us. Don't wait until it's too present, be thankful and be mindful that any day can be your last..., laugh and love life, everyday in every way!

Namaste friends and peace, love and light to you all.

Sasha xo

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Are you living or existing?

Happy Sunday everyone. I was inspired last night by my friend Lisa who is leaving on a mission to Africa next Friday. We had a really in depths conversation on life and its purpose.  She truly inspires me. While getting cleared by her physician to go on this trip, her doctor told her that she was very brave to venture to Africa at this time.  Lisa, the humble girl that she is replied, I'm not brave, I have an appointment with God.  Spoken like a true spiritual woman.  This lead me to think about the idea of living versus existing. So I ask you, what are you doing with your life, are you merely existing and going through the motions of everyday life or are you living your best life?

Quietly answer these questions in your head:

1) Are you practicing what you preach?
2) Do you see the glass as 1/2 full or 1/2 empty.
3) Do you live with an attitude of gratitude or do you think life owes you?
4) Do you seek more to understand others or do you seek to be understood?
5) Do you see others as cooperators in life or competitors?
6) Is compassion your lifestyle or something you practice only when you feel like it?
7) Do you approach every situation and person from a loving perspective or is everyone and everything out to get you?

Well friends, those who experience a good and positive life work very hard to achieve it.  Some choose to believe that life is a battlefield and that they must fight for their happiness and good fortune.  I, however believe in actively seeking and living with the intention of always creating all things that are good in life.  "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change", a powerful quote by Wayne Dyer that always helps keep things in perspective.  We are often told to live one day at the time and are reminded to let go of the past and not fret for the future. I would like to take that concept to another level.  Everyday consists of 24 hours, that's a tall order to fill.  In order to fully enjoy life, I have discovered that living every "moment" is so much more fulfilling and satisfying as well as realistic. Many things can and do happen within a 24 hour period therefore truly savoring every fragment of the day helps in LIVING life rather than purely existing. 

Last night, we had an impromptu pool party at Jillian and Kelly's. Jillie and I danced around the kitchen while preparing food. Jillian expressed how fun it was to cook with music on and how it didn't feel like a chore.  Voila friends, any situation can become pleasant when you shift your minds...even with the help of a little music.  This is living with passion...seeking to find the joy in every situation. I once had a conversation with a friend and asked what 1 word would best describe him and then I followed by saying what 1 word described me best...he and answered ''unstoppable" and I answered, yes you guessed it, ''passionate."  I choose to live passionately because I feel that when you do so, you are always giving your best...passion comes from deep within the heart and if you think back at any specific moment in life when you excelled at anything, you where passionate about it. 

So, I am a great admirer of His Holliness the Dalai Lama and according to him, the 1 thing that is missing most in our world today is human affection.  I completely agree with that.  Human affection, if abscent, whether from parent-child, friend-friend or husband to wife causes human disconnect.  We are no longer living from an emotional state but rather from a logistical state which leaves many people feeling empty.  Human affection, compassion, empathy-sympathy and love are crucial to human survival. As inhabitants of this glorious planet, it is our indisputable right and obligation to not only give but also receive all of the above. Many tears are unseen, many wounds are unhealed and much suffering is unheard...if you know someone in your life is struggling, take a moment an offer a kind word, note or hug.  Ooh! How I love hugs...they make everything better =). Life is not about is about how we can be of service to others. Just the other day, I received a phone call from best friend in Montreal and she was crying. I have never in 20 years heard her cry. I was so startled and panicked for a moment. All I heard her say is: I need to feel better, I am sick and I need your first instinct was to get on a plane and go rescue her....I am a believer in actions speaks louder than words however in this instance, she really needed to talk things through and see things through someone else's eyes.  She is extremely private so I will not give details however, by the end of the conversation we we're both laughing hysterically while she booked her ticket to come here this coming wednesday. At that moment, nothing else mattered..all I knew is that this girl needed to be comforted and it was my obligation to be there for her.  That is the essence of humanity right there....whatever is going on in your life, I plead with you, make time for those special people in your life...they are an extension of you and you know very well, they would always be there for you.

I encourage you to really live with an attitude of gratitude for what you have right this second in your life. By doing so, you open the gates for all of your deepest dreams and desires to come forth.  Surely, no one has a perfect fact, perfection is actually a limitation as I have said is unrealistic and can only cause fear and anxiety.  However living an 'excellent life" now that is something we should all strive for.  I urge you to be open, receptive and welcoming of all people and situations.  This way, you will always know that you have allowed every opportunity to come your way and it will be your choice whether or not to go down any given path.  I do believe however that your close circle of friends and family should be the types that encourage, uplift and love you as you are.  People with positive energy are magnets for more of that same energy.  If you choose to view life as an exciting journey full of experiences..then life will provide you with just that.  You know the saying if life gives you lemons....I say, if life gives you lemons, add a little sugar and spice and everything nice and make the juice of life your own  =))))))))))))))))))))))))).

Leaving you with this great song by One Republic "Good Life"

Wishing you all peace, love and light Sasha xoxoxoxoxoxo

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Soul-Connections...fact or fiction?

Today, I was inspired by a quote I read from The Daily Love on Twitter..."Love is complete. Your soul-mate doesn't "complete" you - your soul mate is a reflexion of you. You are a whole, not a half."... Whoa! Did I just wake up and realize how true this is? I thought that everyone searched for their better half in this Universe.  I was flabbergasted when I read this and haven't been able to get it out of my mind. 

Now before I go into love connections of the romantic kind, I would like to say that I believe that we have many soul mates in life. Now what I mean by that is that they can be in the form of friends as well, so I suppose we can call them soul-friends or soul-brothers and soul-sisters.  I will give you an example of that. My friend Kinda and I met several years ago at a water park.  We immediately clicked and chatted away the entire time.  She gave me one of her cards and after a few days, I somehow lost it.  I was so desperate to find it, however was unlucky.  Suddenly, Hurricane Katrina came through our area and of course where else do you go when there is bad weather but Target.  I was there to get some arts and crafts for the boys.  Low and behold, who do I see??? Yes Kinda. So the first thing she says is, how come you never called? And I proceeded to tell her that I lost her card. She very patiently stood there and watched me input her number into my phone and we have been soul-sisters ever since. Although she now lives in Atlanta, the bond was sealed from day one. And so no timee or space can ever come between us.  Its so interesting how the Universe will bring you exactly who you need when you need them.  Interestingly, lately, I've made several friends who immediately felt familiar, comfortable and safe.  Some I've even met only once..right Jess and others maybe a handful of times.  And then, you have the ones who have been in your life for years and somehow, you re-kindle your soul-connection even after a decade sometime..right Irv? I think these are very special people in our lives that are there to guide, teach, learn, support and love us unconditionally.  Those are the ones you turn to at the peek of your happiness to celebrate with or to weep on the floor with...right girls, you know who you are.  It's just an amazing feeling. And true to the quote in the beginning...they do not complete us...rather they almost feel like part of us.  like they know us so well and know exactly what to say and do at specif moments.

So they say opposites attracts..that's the biggest crock of you know what I've ever heard. They may perhaps catch your curiosity and get you excited below the belt but in all honesty...although every couple has differences, and that's normal, such as liking different foods, shows, sports etc... That said, if the core values and outlook on life are polar opposites, rarely if ever, do these couples survive.  The essence and heart must be "in synch" in order for the other differences to take on minimal value.  Otherwise the smallest things will be magnified into huge problems when in fact, the problem is that you are incompatible.  A wise man and former boss, also a prominent neuro surgeon once said to me and i quote:
 " I tried and tried to figure out why I was dating all the wrong types of women. I knew I liked a certain type and they somehow never worked out for me. It wasn't until I realized that I was basing my mates on what my mind was telling me a neurosurgeon should date rather then what my heart was telling me would fulfill my needs." He continued to say that "the 3 C's were necessary...Compatibility, Chemistry and Communication."  He went on with, " kid, listen to me, if even one of these is missing, it won't work, ever."...So I took that information for face value and didn't make much of it...until now.  Basically, the 3 C's are a reflection of you.  If you find someone who resembles you, chances are, you will be compatible, you will be able to communicate easily and will be attracted to one another....what a clever man =).

There are tons of books and youtube videos out there teaching you how to attract your soul mate. I do agree with some of what they say such as make sure you have forgiven anyone in your past, have let go of any pain, have a mind and heart that are ready to receive this "Twin Flame" as they call it. Love depends NOT on circumstance or time periods. To live knowing and accepting they can already be in your life...although you haven't recognized them thus far because you were not open. I totally agree with all of that. And I also believe that what is meant to be, nothing and no one can prevent from happening so if that is what you are looking for then rest assured, it is coming your way. Just practcice patience and always have hope. Act as though you already have what you want, and before you know it...tada.  One of my best friends Brigette told me that 10 years ago, after years of fun and crazy passionate relationships, she yearned for her soul-mate.  She told me that she went to the beach everyday for a long time professing to the ocean and making her intention known. She would ask for her soul mate to come into her life. She asked that he have a huge loving heart and to accept her just as she is.  She shortly met Spencer and after only 3 dates, they said I love you and moved in. Spencer went on to say that he really wanted to tell her that night, that he loved her, but was afraid to scare her.  I must say Spencer is a stylish rocker yet dapper English gentleman and is everything she ever wished for an more.  You see folks, it's not so much about  physical characteristics but rather what and how you want to feel. We all know looks fade with age but the heart and mind stay forever.  My mother always said, be careful what you wish for, for  it always comes true =).

I will finish this off by saying that a soul mate is an absolute fact and that we all have one out there. If you have already found him or her, yay! for you. If not yet...may your journey to finding them be full of excitement and fun.

I leave you with this gorgeous Natasha Beddingfield song entitled: Soulmate...Who doesn't long for someone to hold, who knows how to love you without being told..."

Peace, love and light Sasha xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Monday, August 15, 2011

Lightning strikes the heart!

As I begin settling back in from this magnificent trip to California, I am reminded that which ever way you choose to look at it, life is truly a journey to self-discovery. Sadly, many people walk through life believing it's only about making it through the day.  Life offers us boundless gifts and opportunities, it is far time to begin appreciating them and living them.

My intention in going to California was to offer some support to my aunt Cory who has just finished her last course of radiation for her treatment of breast cancer.  Little did I know that the universe also had a plan for me personally.  I practice other every and all circumstances, I always declare that I am open to whatever lesson there is to be received in any given situation.  As many of you know, I wasn't always the greatest fan of the Los Angeles region.  On the plane ride there, I decided to apply Wayne Dyers quote: "If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."....and so it was.  I have somehow fallen in love with the mountains, the ocean, the wild animals and even tackled 3 major freeways I was otherwise afraid of...all by myself.  Lighting struck my heart and now, thanks to it's natural beauty and the special moments I shared with family and friends, I am a lover of California.  More than ever, I can vouch for the saying "never say never"....I have found beauty in cliffs, in fossils found embedded in rocks....wild looking caves carved into the landscape and this beautiful vast ocean that is full of endless possibilities.

I believe that when you make the decision to shift your thinking and start looking at life trough different can fully embrace every aspect of life.  I feel so strongly that enthusiasm and positive energy contribute in living a happy life.  To live with an attitude of gratitude and to consciously and wholehartedly, accept and love all things.  To live selflessly and be generous with your time.  The one thing most people really want is to be heard and accepted just as they are.  Sometimes we mistake certain peoples behaviors as negative, or label them as unhappy or miserable however, more than anyone, they are screaming for help. Something somewhere has caused them to be this way and all they need is to release and let go of it.  So many live in bondage, whether, emotional, physical or psychological...they are tormented because they don't know that by forgiving and letting go...they will be freed and consequently have the chance to live their best life. And we should lend them a helping hand in any way we can rather than assuming or judging things about them.  This is part of spiritual growth...compassion and unconditional love for all.

During a conversation with a good friend, I said, I don't want to be like anyone else... I just  want to work towards being the best version of myself....which is a life long process. And this process occurs when we experience the different trials and good times life meets us with.  I don't believe in all.  I believe this universe is specially designed in such a way that it knows exactly when to send us the specific people and circumstances we need at that particular time.  My suggestion...embrace it all.  Allow yourself to feel every feeling and live without fear or expectation.

 During a conversation with my cousin Danny while there, he said, blood is thicker than other words your blood relatives mean more than anyone else.  Hmmm! I totally disagree. Surely our families have always and will always be there. And they generally have our best interest in mind and that is a necessary thing.  However, I am a believer that friends are the "family' we have carefully selected. I can safely say that whether a family member or friend needed one of my kidneys to live, I would give it to  them regardless of their blood relation.  Friends can also strike you when you least expect it and they are to be handled with care as they are precious cargo.  You know someone is a good friend when you cannot imagine your life without them....where they have brightened your life and made it better.  So always be open to making new friends, you never who may be right around the corner =).

So I went to California to lend a helping hand....and have returned feeling a little bit like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.....completely spoiled in every way.  Showered with love and attention...treated to a shopping spree..given an extremely valuable Breitling watch and white and black diamond ring....which I responded to saying: I can't take this...this is too valuable...and my precious auntie are the most priceless niece anyone can ever ask deserve this....I am truly humbled. 

Finally, in the great words of middle aged flight attendant from last night....

" Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard  Spirit Airlines flight 310 East bound to Fort Lauderdale. Several people have brought to my attention that it is very warm on this aircraft at the moment. Kindly refer to the seat pocket in front of you and reach for the flight safety it and use it as a fan until we get these engines started..Thank you for choosing Spirit Airlines and enjoy your flight."

In other words....make the best of every situation and lighten up.

Peace, love and Light Sasha xoxoxoxoxo