Broken Open!

Happy Sunday Friends,

Have you ever heard the sayings,  "Wounded people wound people", "Joyful people are joyful to people", "Angry people are angry to people" and "Happy people are happy to people." Here's the thing friends, often times, we treats others in the way we have been treated whether it is conscious and obvious or totally unconscious, which we typically are unaware of. People can only give what they have within themselves and the fact remains that you cannot give away what you don't have. Every single one of us has a story, a history, life events that have molded us into who we are. I think its safe to say that very few people have had ideal childhoods and have grown to become totally emotionally intact and happy human beings so take this moment to acknowledge that although we all have very different stories, we indeed have a story. Right this moment, repeat after me, " I am NOT my story, I am NOT defined by my past, I am free and give myself permission to be healed and liberated of my story. I choose today, to live in a space of gratitude and acknowledge that peace, happiness and success are my birth right. I am no longer bound, I AM FREE."

Last night, I watched Own  and it was a show with rapper DMX and Iyanla. He claimed that he wanted to be on the show because he had an addiction to woman....she quickly realized that he was high during the interview and had had a drug and alcohol problem since age 19 and had been arrested 30 times so far.  He explained that when he was 7, his mother sent him to some sort of disciplinary facility because she didn't know how to deal with him and how he had repeatedly been in an out of these places. He never felt like his mother loved him and therefore he turned to drugs to numb his pain. He also mentioned that although his mother didn't nurture him, that his grandmother loved him very much and how he always found comfort in her referring to him as "baby" because that made him feel wanted and valuable. He then said, everyone want their mother to love them and everyone wants to be someones baby. When his grandmother passed away, his addictions got worse and relationship with his own children and wife became strained and quite estranged. His eldest son, whom he hadn't spoken to in almost 2 years, wanted to rekindle their relationship so he agreed to meet in the presence of Iyanla. His son expressed to him some of the pain he had felt over the years and asked for them to have a relationship again....however, his rule was that his dad, DMX, would have to be totally clean. He explained how they could never have a real relationship unless he was no longer "toxic" to which DMX, stood up and said, "love should be unconditional, you are putting conditions on us, I cannot make that promise." So his son refused to stand up and hug him and stood his ground. In this process, the son had realized that he took reacted in a strong and aggressive way towards his siblings quite often and realized how these wound he had from his father, had translated into his own life. Luckily, the son was able to come to that realization and was able to move on and apologize to his siblings and has learned to control the impulse to react. As for DMX, he was arrested again shortly after the show for driving without a license and their relationship is still unhealed.

You see  friends, the ego tries to keep us down and remind us of our wounds. It prevents us from trusting others, from loving and often from success because it is a debilitating ego. Its painfully sad especially when we are unaware of our patterns of behavior. We so often blame others for treating us badly, using us and abandoning us when in fact, we have created such an environment, and response mechanism that even if the most loving and kind person came into our life, we self sabotage those relationships because that voice is constantly whispering, you are not worthy of this and they are not as they seem. Which is all a great lie that the ego has manipulated us to believe. Oftentimes, the people who do get to be part of their lives, become enablers themselves by tip toeing around the "sensitive issues" and never really allowing these people to grow beyond their wounds. As Geshe La would say, "Though Love is often the best kind of love". It doesn't mean that you are cruel and unusual or that you are ill intended...it simply means that you will not tolerate or allow a wounded person to wound you because they feel they have the right to. In all honesty friends, we can all make ourselves victims of our past, but as we become adults, we need to exercise our rights to free will, free thinking and lastly, freeing ourselves. Don"t stay stuck in the past, soar beyond those clouds that have kept you in the dark for so long.

Friends, only you have the power to move past yesterdays afflictions. The art of forgiveness and letting go not only liberates those who have wounded, but more importantly, liberates you and those to come in your life. Do not project your pasts onto others. You are lovable, magnificent and worthy and deserving of love and respect.

Namaste friends.

Peace, love and light.

Sasha xoxoxo